One Step Behind

Two kids were laughing in the sandbox, digging, having the best time. And my girl stood one step behind me and watched. For ten whole minutes she just moved sand from one spot to another spot. That was the whole game. Once she took a step toward them. Then she jumped right back to me.

have you ever felt this way too?

Everything in me wanted to nudge her forward. 'They look nice, baby. Just go say hi.' I said it light and easy, like it was nothing, like the space between her and those kids was small. It wasn't small to her. The more I talked, the tighter she pressed against my leg.

Then I felt her fist close around the back of my shirt. Just held on. And it stopped me. She wasn't hanging back to be stubborn. She was holding on because it was a lot.

So I crouched down next to her and quit pushing. 'It's a lot, watching them, huh? Want to bring your bucket over? We can stay right here.' She dragged her bucket to the edge and started her own little pile. A boy handed her a shovel like it was the most normal thing in the world. I thought she needed courage. She needed company.